Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
