my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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