I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
