Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
