life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
