White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize