We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
