Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
