I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We were destined to go to rehab together
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize