Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize