How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You've changed since you got that strap on
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
