I think scott just propositioned me for sex
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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