Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
