Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
