I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
