If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
