I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
