he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
