Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
