your thong is hanging out like whoa
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We don't watch enough power rangers
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
