Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
