She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize