Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
