Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
