you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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