He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
