but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
