think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I smell like Dick and happiness
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
