Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
