he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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