We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
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