guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
