Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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