guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
