it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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