just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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