all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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