Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
