Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
