Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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