I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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