I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
