Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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