If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize