From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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