Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
