No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
