so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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