Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
