worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize