Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
