Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Randomize
