What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
