For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
