a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
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