well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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