I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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