I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
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