bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
