eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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