I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
