only if we run a train.
done.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
