How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
