don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
