i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
