when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I am spending my child support on dildos
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
